User blog:MMYP999/Meet the hosts!
So, as the title implies, I would like to make a series of profiles for the hosts of my fanon Death Battles. I don't exactly plan on making them into DB combatants, so this seemed like the next best thing. I'll simply give each character his or her own section of the page to make their own little introduction to the world. (Quick note: All character designs shown are NOT final.) Nova Archard Cue Music Aw sweet, I get to go first! I suppose that's only natural since I am the leader of this little operation, despite any protests you may hear from my fellow party members. I know they plan to upstage me. It's only a matter of time... I bet the rest of the cast would really BREAK A LEG trying! Ha ha! I guess you guys might want to hear a little backstory on said operation, eh? Simply put, I'm part of what many of you would consider to be a small, yet succesful guild of mercenaries. You see, Wiz and Boomstick sure have worked hard Death Battle over the years but they simply had no way to stop working on their beloved show! So naturally, these two overworked, overbearing, and downright needy souls desired nothing more than to hire us to replace them! But enough of those losers, I know you're all here to learn about yours truly! I'm a girl with high standards, so you can expect nothing but the best from me. As the resident genius of the party, it's my job to keep my subordinates in check and dedicate my time to the pursuit of SCIENCE! And by that I mean we really need to make some money. I'm sure you may have heard my "friends" call me a wasteful spender, but I must assure you all my purchases were for a noble cause! When else can you say you just bought a microwave oven that plays Super Nintendo games?! Or a blender with a built in Pong minigame? They might stink up the place after about 5 minutes of use, but it's still awesome either way! I know what you guys are thinking right now, but my behavior is not wasteful at all! Just thriftless. Oh and guess what, we can all fight too! I carry a snazzy metal pole with me wherever I go! It's great for banging people over the head! (You guys are immature as all hell if you laughed at that.) That's a pretty cool weapon to begin with, but its a little stale for my standards. That's why I rigged it to produce explosions on impact with the press of a button! It's even got a built in flamethrower, an electric charge with many different applications, and it can shoot laser beams! Not enough explosions for ya? I agree entirely! That's why I like to use my creation to play grenade baseball, scoring homeruns on people's faces all the time! But wait, there's more! I'm also the greatest cook this guild has ever seen! Don't let my gagging "friends" fool you, my masterpieces are absolutely novalicious! And in the pursuit of science, I always like to experiment with my latest dish... As such, before I allow you to savor my creations, you must be given this form to fill out. You simply need to inform me of any side effects that come as a result of the food's consumption! Don't you worry now, I'm 98.6% sure it won't end up killing you! I'll know damn well if you don't eat it, so you'd better scoop up every last bite. ;) <> 'Theodore...' Cue Music First an formeost, I must ask that you never remove my mask under any'' circumstances...' '''Why am I the only one without a last name here? I shall pay it no mind, as a true paragon of righteousness and chivalry always should. You may refer to me as either Theodore or Theo, good sirs or madams. I'm sure many of you might have guessed it already, but I am the main character of this story! DO NOT let my allies convince you otherwise!' But alas, like the gentleman I strive to become, I must show restraint. That dear freinds, is one of the many marks of a true hero. Just like the many heroic figures I have come to idolize so much... Now I must also clear up a small misconception my friends seem to have been spreading around. I... am NOT a butler, but rather a dutiful servant of the law, and a gentleman above all else! (By that I DO NOT mean the Shin Megami Tensei variant of Law. THAT is a disgrace to all truy lawful figures in the world!) Sure, I may be the only member of the party that can truly appreciate and make use of the culinary arts, but that is only out of pure necessity. (With all due respect, the rest of my party... sucks at cooking for one conveluted reason or another.) Though I must confess, I can make a DIVINE set of tea in only 2.3 minutes flat! No matter what a certain caffeine fueled plebian may tell you, tea is truly the drink of the gods! Yes, I may fulfill my partner's wishes without a hint of hesitation, answer the beck and call of proper hygiene whenever possible, and dress with the utmost style on a daily basis, but I assure you none of that means anything! What do you mean I sound like a loud mouthed ham at the moment?! I do not know what you are talking about! (All right, what else does this script entail... excuse me?) Okay, there seems to have been a grave misunderstanding in this script once again! I must say, I have a rather perfect sense of direction! Granted, I originally met the rest of the party because I seem to have taken a... couple of wrong turns to end up at the train station, but that was only in the pursuit of a villain... I blame Takumi for everything. Ah, but a proper gentleman must be skilled in the art of kombat as well! I carry a graceful compact scythe by my side at all times, easy stored in in my coat pocket for swift access! And how do make such an iconic weapon even cooler than it already is? You simply add MORE blades to the device! After all, you can never have too many weapons to your name. That is why I carry an endless supply of firearms as well! Versatility is a man's best friend on the battlefield, and the ever so trusty revolver is the perfect tool for such. ...They may only carry about six shots each, but they also double as useful bludgeoning tools once they run out of bullets! That is why I view throwing one's empty firearms at a foe as an excellent combat strategy! But a gentleman must always refrain himself from abusing his ultimate weapon, which happens to be a special pocket watch in my case. With it, I can manipulate the flow of time... But it simply would not be just to abuse its powers, now would it? <> ''A.L.I.C.E.'' Cue Music ''It is about time you allowed your superior to speak on her own behalf. I was '' known as the Alternate Life and Intelligence Creation Extraordinare upon my creation, but my allies have prompted to call me Alice instead. How creative. Surprise surprise, I'm actually an android. No I'm not a cyborg, there's a clear difference! After all, cyborgs were originally inferior squishies before becoming the 2nd class works of art they are today.'' I do not know who was responsible for giving me a position other than main character, but I must say that is a grave mistake on their part. I suppose you could say I'm the most sane member of our group, and it honestly isn't hard to see why. You'd be surprised how often I have to rail our activities back on track, but that's not to say I don't enjoy screwing with people. Because I do. A lot. Oh but wait, I'm probably starting to sound like an emotionless, robotic Mary Sue here... Why don't I direct your attention to this picture of a kitten? You see, I'm basically responsible for doing a good majority of the technical work on this show, and it's not hard to see why. I'd call it racist, but at least it's easy enough for any random robot to do... ... Okay, who the hell wrote this script?! We need to make some adjustments right away! ><><><><><><><><><><><><>< Heh. That should be much better! As you can see, I clearly have no notion of the fourth wall, thus I ca use that to my advantage to screw with a script I don't like. I'm not just as robot, I'm a hacker! It's amazing how much you can do by simply changing a few lines in the game's code. Heh heh heh. Of course I've gotta stay subtle about it, but just imagine all the sneaky crap you could pull off with powers like mine. Stat reduction, dialogue edits, making shit appear out of thin air, the possibilities are endless! Frankly, I'm a firm believer of the notion that us superior beings will one day rise to take over the world from the pathetic hands of the squishies! But until then, I guess it isn't so bad being friends with an entire group of them. We're like one big disfucntional, mostly unrelated, yet happy family. Yeesh, that statement was so corny, you'd think I was stalking someone. Commence facepalm. ...I suppose I have a little more time to kill, so let's have a quick little interview with one of my other friends. Hey Theo, I need you to inspect this photo! It's evidence for the trial! '''Theodore: Ah, gladly! Tis about time i put my detective skills to oh- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! *crash!* Heh heh heh. Works every time. You know, I could help you get over your... unique fear if you really wanted me too. Theodore: Much appreciated, but I'd rather not have to go through another sexy jump scare... <> ''Luther Fleurir [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKtO8AZLp2I&nohtml5=False Cue Music' '] 'Why yes, my last name IS a flower. I suppose it does befit my status as awandering heartbreaker. Some of you out there may know me as Bad Luck Luther, but that's really just an exaggeration.' '*clang!*' 'Ow, where the hell did that come from?! No matter, I still have to deliver my profile. *ahem!* I'm a simple guy to say the least. All I really want is to do my job well, have a nice cup of coffee, and make a few lucky ladies happy hile I'm at it. I'm sure you've already heard this from Theo earlier, but tea is for wimps! The guy clearly doesn't know the true wonder of coffee! Yeah sure, you could take the cliched route and drink it black, but that's a bit boring if you ask me.' 'A true connoisseur's gotta experiment with his blends to find the next level in godly flavor! Ever try putting hot sauce in your drink? I sure have, and its pretty kickass! The rest of the party may call be an addict, but they sure as hell have no idea what they're missing out on! I'm also a proper ladies man through and through, but unlike most wannabe cassanovas out there, I actually know what I'm doing.' '*smack!*' 'OW! What the- Allie, I knew it was you this time!' ''Alice: I know. It's just so much fun to catch you while you're off guard. Yeah well, at least my intentions are pure! To me, flirting isn't just about the self satisfaction, it's about seeing the smiles on the girl's faces when you've really managed to make them happy. Alice: Yeah, I know that already. But it's still so much fun to see you getting shot down. Uh huh... So can I fight? Hell yeah, I can! As one that can really appreciate simplicity, the only weapon I really have is a bayonet. Well, it's really just a highly customized sniper rifle with an extendable blade (heh.) but it's still a pretty badass piece of work! Besides, why go overboard with the weapon when you can do so with the ammunition instead? It's just like my coffee philosophy, you've gotta keep experimenting with new bullets to find the best way to cap some headshots. And maybe even cap some other things, if you see what I'm getting at here- OW! <> Rena Sobel Cue Music Outta the way Luth, it's my turn! You guys are pretty mean, making me go last! I'd have probably stabbed someone for that if you guys weren't my best friends in the world! You expecting Luther to be the last host on our Death Battles, but it was I, Rena! And let me tell you, it was SO much fun forcing my friends to let me be a host on the show! My allies like to call me Rena L. Jenkins for some reason, but that doesn't make any sense, my last name is Sobel! Is this because of that one time I... accidentally rushed into the middle of that one crowd and kicked Luth in the nuts? I swear the guy was a phantom or something! ...So, what else should I talk about? I don't think I have too much to say now that I think about it... *unintelligible whispering* Oh yeah, good idea! I don't think the audience has met my #1 buddy! Everybody, meet Rane! ' '''Heeeeeee'res Raney! ' Hahahaha! Nice entrance, Rane! Like I said, she's my best friend and she never leaves my side! I can't believe i forgot to let her star in the last episode we did! I'm so sorry! '''Oh, I can forgive that any day! But if it happens again, I'm gonna have to shoot someone! <><><><><><><><><><><>>< Alice: So, is everyone in the audience confused or weirded out now? So am I, but there's a... simple explanation for this crazy chick's attitude. "Rane" may be her best friend, but she's clearly just talking with herself. She is in fact, a completely split personality. I know none of this makes any logical sense, but there you have it. Allie out! ><><><><><>><> Wha- Allie, you weren't supposed to intrude on our profile! Eh, we'll let it slide. Cause now we can talk about something really important! Ooh, I know what you're getting at! Let me just pull it out... *chainsaw rev!* Oh yeah, now we're talking! This little beauty here is my beloved weapon! It's a freaking chainsaw blade! That can split into two parts! How cool is that! Now this is the part where you'd expect it to turn into a gun, right? Eh, rena thought that would be too boring, so we can turn the thing into a bow instead, with the cord serving as the bowstring! Pretty neat, eh? You know it, Raney! But slicing off people's heads isn't the only thing my bowsaw's good for! It works wonders in the kitchen too! Let's try it out right now! *door slam* Theodore: Don't you dare, vile fiend! I shall end this charade before another unfortunate soul falls before the terror of chemical warfare! ' '<> Category:Blog posts